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Wisdom ~ While There is Yet Hope - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Oct 08

Wisdom ~ While There is Yet Hope

God’s word tells us we have no promise of tomorrow. While this is speaking of our physical lives on earth, it is also true of our marriages and families.

Look around the world today ~ marriages of 20+ years are falling apart, spouses walk away “without a care”, kids run away ready for a “new start” with a rebel sweetheart.

Nothing of this world is guaranteed. Don’t take anything for granted!


Were you mad at your husband this week over something he did, like being late, speaking to you rudely, or yelling at the kids? Did you seethe with bitterness and intentionally avoid looking into his eyes so as to express your disdain? 

You know what I am talking about. You remember the ugliness of your own heart and soul. Yes, your husband deserved it. Yes, it is your right. But is there any satisfaction in your punishing responses? Does he now bend to your anger and do better in hopes of escaping your condemnation? 

He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce. Your children watch and are practicing being poor future mothers and fathers. 


Anxiety attacks, depression, somber moods, feelings of not being in control of your mind, unfounded fears, and bursts of anger all start in the mind. They are what you have allowed yourself to become through your 40,000 daily thoughts. By reacting the same way repeatedly,  you establish habits that become so much a part of you that they may seem organic ~ a part of your physical make-up. Any cigarette smoker will tell you how powerful an addiction can be. Stinking thinking is an addiction that will grow into such a habit that it controls the body and deceives the mind. God warns us to guard our minds. 

Divorce is never planned, but is almost always preceded by certain avoidable reactive behavior and events. Don’t let it happen to you. <— Tweet


Wisdom……we must have wisdom for our marriages. 

Make A New Habit

Think of the thing your husband does that irritates you the most. Now say to yourself, “I do not see the whole picture. I do not know what God is doing in my life or my husband’s life. My critical attitude is far graver than his bad habits. I am guilty of blaspheming the written Word of God when I do not love and obey my husband. Therefore, I am laying down my campaign against him concerning this issue. And, as far as I am concerned, it is God’s business to direct my husband and convict him. I am trusting God. “


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Previous Posts in this Series

Introduction       Once Upon A Time        Mr. Right?       God Hasn’t Changed His Mind        A Merry Heart        Change Your Game Plan       A Thankful Spirit

Thanksgiving Produces Joy    The Gift of Wisdom     Beginning of Wisdom



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  1. MotherofPearl

    Guilty as charged, especially when I have been given the silent treatment for days and weeks and no matter how nice and conciliatory and thankful I am I get no response from him, and I just give up trying. I never used to bear grudges, but after 20 years of living with a man to whom the slightest thing from inside or outside the home turns into a barrier of cold silence that I can’t get through no matter what, it’s hard not to be bitter. Even if it’s not about me, it could be something from his work, but the kids and I get to suffer for it. I feel like my life is being wasted waiting for him to decide to come out of his cave and participate in our lives once more. It’s getting worse as he gets older. I’m at the point where I am frustrated and tired of trying. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do, he will do as he pleases and doesn’t care how it affects us.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes….this…..silent treatment….breeds bitterness…..Yet, we are called only to be responsible for that which we do dear one. His actions, words and treatment are between him and the Lord alone. We can not pick up their crosses, we have our own. Our lives are not our own, but God’s. We are His to do with that which He requires for us to be made more liken to Him! We must have a willing spirit and heart to allow Him to work in and through us though. Praying for you dear sis…..

  2. Laura

    Good words. I always need reminded not to take the things closest to me for granted.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Don’t we all? 🙂 Blessings!

  3. Elizabeth Ours

    Lots of wisdom here! Love the part about practicing faults and bitterness is practice for divorce!

    thanks for sharing . . . and for linking up!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, that is so very true! Debi Pearl is a very wise woman 😉 I love her! Blessings!

  4. Kathleen

    What an excellent post… I have a niece with six kids who is separated from her husband… Both have faults, both are bring blind to their own faults. It breaks my heart.

    I learned years ago to overlook those small silly things that irritated me. I just made the choice to not dwell on those things. I also made several other choices… I would stop being sarcastic. Sarcasm kills. I would start thanking him for ANYTHING he did for me, small or large. But the most important thing I did was lay him and our marriage at the feet of God’s throne daily. I let Holy Spirit take control. I was such a control freak and always so “right” – which was so wrong.

    I’m going to share your post… God Bless Your Day!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, it is hard, but so important to place our marriages down at His feet DAILY! He can run our marriages better than we can 😉

      I will be praying for your niece, when neither will acknowledge their faults and realize that neither is perfect, it is almost impossible (without God) to move forward.

      Thank you for sharing!

  5. Michell

    Hi! Found you on Mingle Monday….great post!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thanks for stoppin by and checkin my corner out 😉 Blessings!

  6. Rachel

    This is exactly what we as wives need to be doing in our lives with our husbands. Bitterness and grudges aren’t helpful to anyone…and we were called to be his helpmeet!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Amen! 🙂 Thanks for stoppin by! 🙂

  7. Kari

    HA! Loved that the whole time I was reading this, all I coulg think about was “without God’s grace, we are helpless to do this!” Then I read your comments and they both are on God’s grace. God is so good to provide freely that which we have to have to succeed.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes! 🙂 Grace…..all is grace! 🙂 Love ya sis!

  8. Ugochi

    We must let go and let God. We all try to play God in our spouses life, but if we would allow God work in us , we would see the change we all so desire. Thanks for this post, have a super blessed day!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, letting God work in us and in our marriages, would allow for more change than we can even imagine! Blessings!

  9. Kim M

    I am really reading a lot of posts today about this and I’m thinking it’s exactly what I need to hear. But how do you cope with that and just “let God”? How long do you let it go on before it’s just too much?

    Kim M.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      It is never easy unfortunately. Personally, I probably deal with what many would consider “too much”. I have been down a much harder road in the past, so what I have now is not comfortable, but I’m not being abused either. If you’d like to chat more personally, please feel free to email me @ simplyhelpinghim at gmail dot com …. Blessings and hugs!

  10. Mindy @ New Equus - A New Creation

    Oh to let God convict your husband and stay out of His work with him is a VERY hard thing indeed! I know I am very guilty of butting my nose in! So thankful that both God and my husband are full of grace!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, it is VERY hard, but so worth it! 🙂 Grace is amazing thing is it not? Blessings girly! 🙂

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