Sep 24

The Gift of Wisdom

Today’s study covers two topics; wisdom and submission. I love how Debi brings the two together….

This chapter is close to my heart. It is from this chapter that my marriage took a turn. I changed. Not for my husband, not for me, but for God. I chose to follow His will for me, as a help meet. I know this post is a lot longer than what mine are normally, but I pray that you will take the time to read it. It changed my life, and I pray that it will help someone today. Blessings dear friends.


It doesn’t take a good man, or even a saved man, for a woman to have a heavenly marriage, but it does take a woman willing to honor God by being the kind of wife God intended. It takes one woman willing to be a help meet ~ a suitable helper. If you look at your husband and can’t find any reason to want to help him ~ and I know some of you are married to men like that ~ then look to Christ and know that it is He who made you to be a help meet. You serve Christ by serving your husband, whether your husband deserves it or not.

A woman’s calling is not easy. To allow someone else to control your life is much harder than taking control of it yourself. It can be a challenge, even for veteran wives. Don’t despair. With wisdom from on high, you can be the woman God uses, if not to change that old man into a wonderful fellow, then at least to ease your own burden and become a heavenly bride fit for the Son of God himself. God very clearly spelled out to us exactly what he expects of us as wives. His plan is eternal. It involves more than just our relationship with our husbands. God designed marriage to be an earthly pattern of the diving marriage of Christ and the Church. In God’s design, we play a leading role. Therefore, God left no margin for error of misunderstanding. His Word speaks abundantly and clearly of our role. 


  1. God commands wives to submit to their OWN husbands.
  2. God informs men they are the head of the wife.
  3. God tells the wives to be subject to their husbands in everything, every decision, every move, every plan, and all everyday affairs.

Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Colossians 3:18

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

There will be times in your marriage, when it will take faith and wisdom to believe that God is good, kind, and just in his command for you to submit to your husband in everything. Note that what God commands a woman to do does not hinge on the man loving his wife as Christ loved the church. If it did, there is not one single husband who ever lived and breathed who would be worthy of his wife’s submission or reverence. Each of them, the man and the woman, has been given their own directive from God with a model or pattern to attain to. What God said stands, regardless of the man’s goodness or the apparent lack thereof. You were given your blueprints with words like honor, submit, and reverence. This is God’s will and way, his directive and pattern for you to model. It is up to us to believe and obey God. 

Just knowing God’s will from his written Word will help you become that kind of person. There is peace and joy in knowing that you are right where you were created to be. The more you seek to obey God by being a good help meet to your man, so much the more you will come to know God; and the more you know him, the more you will care about the things he values. 


Wisdom is a gift. 

James 1:5

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”


A gift is something you receive that has not been earned or merited. 


Your husband will be selfish. He will be unkind. He will not respect your rights. He will be foolish. 

You can decide to be in a constant state of anger and bitterness, or you can ask God for the wisdom to live each day in a state of honoring your man for God’s sake. 

You need the precious gift of wisdom to be able to hold your tongue and be thankful when your flesh would strike back in anger. You need wisdom to see how feeling sorry for yourself is far from the heart of God. You need this gift of wisdom as a constant reminder of the limitations of your female understanding. The gift of wisdom will remind you that God’s rules are not there to put you in bondage, but to help you make a man want to cherish, protect, and love you. Most of all, the gift of wisdom will enable you to serve and honor your husband because you are serving and honoring God. You will find fulfillment in your nature as a woman. 



** All words in Italics in this series are from Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Help Meet”


Previous Posts in this Series

Introduction       Once Upon A Time        Mr. Right?       God Hasn’t Changed His Mind        A Merry Heart        Change Your Game Plan       A Thankful Spirit

Thanksgiving Produces Joy



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  1. Laura

    Oh, friend. Don’t I know this one from experience? I am praying these words are far reaching today.
    Laura recently posted..Playdates with God: Painting the DoorMy Profile

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, I am as well! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!

  2. Mindy @ New Equus - A New Creation

    Wisdom is definitely a gift! And I love your point about serving our husbands whether they love us as the church or not. We need to deal with the duties God has given each of us and let God deal with the hearts of others. 🙂
    Mindy @ New Equus – A New Creation recently posted..10 reasons I DON’T want to become a big-time blogger!My Profile

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, that is so true, as wives we often quote that verse, but fail to realize that no man can attain it! Thank you for stoppin by girly 😉 Blessings!

  3. Anni

    Hey there!
    Stopping by from the “Monday MeetUp” – I´m a new follower via Bloglovin!
    Nice and very inspirational blog!
    Have a nice day,
    Anni recently posted..Another Masking Tape DIY! // Recycle your Q-Tip BoxMy Profile

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you so much! Blessings!

  4. Kendra @ A Proverbs 31 Wife

    As always I love your series here 🙂
    Don’t forget to link it up on Matrimonial Monday 😉
    Kendra @ A Proverbs 31 Wife recently posted..I Miss the Guy I Married +MM Link up #3!My Profile

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Aww thanks girly! 🙂 Blessings!

  5. Barbara

    “t doesn’t take a good man, or even a saved man, for a woman to have a heavenly marriage, but it does take a woman willing to honor God by being the kind of wife God intended. ” What a powerful sentence! I will keep it in my heart today and work with it. Thank you! Barbara

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, I have found this to be true. Thank you for staoppin by! Blessings!

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