Jun 18

Marriage Monday/Virtual BBQ Link Up

Helping your husband….sounds like manual labor right? Although that is true, we are to help our husbands with work if we are asked to. Right now though, I am working on a different type of “helping” in my marriage.

Sometimes “helping” your husband, means knowing when to walk away and give them some alone time/some space. This particular “helping” aspect I am not great at. I like to talk (too much), I like to spend time with those I love, etc. I have learned much over the last decade in this area, but am far from perfect.

My hubby was a bachelor for 37 years, prior to marrying me. His independence, mannerisms, lifestyle and desires all were the portrait of a bachelor.

Some days this works well, as I am often busy with the kiddos and he is able to do his own thing.

Other times, I want to spend time with him and do things together, but I’m learning to tell when he needs some space. At times I am hurt, other times I find something to do. Like, writing this blog post, on vacation, unplanned. Yet I write best in the quiet, uninterrupted moments. This is just such a time.

I forget how little alone, “unscheduled”, non-busy, no chore/housework time I have. Then I get away and am able to “rip out” 3 blog posts in 2 days!

Each couple needs their own space, not typically at the same time. We must learn to read our spouses, and know when they need alone time.

This is part of helping our husbands ~ knowing when they need time alone. They work hard taking care of our families, thus they need time for themselves, away from work and responsibilities.

May we have eyes to see our husbands need for alone time…..


I hope you enjoy the following recipes ~

The first one Β is a favorite for our family especially in the summertime when strawberries are ripe!

Non-Dairy Sour Cream Cake

Preheat Oven to 325 degrees

Grease pan with shortening and dust with flour


3 Cups Flour (I use Whole Wheat)

3 Cups Sugar (I use Sugar in the Raw)

2 Sticks Earth Balance “Butter”

6 Eggs

1 Tsp. Baking Powder

1 Tsp. Vanilla

8 oz. Tofutti Better than Sour Cream

Combine all ingredients in mixer and mix wellΒ 

Pour batter into prepared pan

Cook for 1.25 – 1.5 hours until golden brown

Let cool in pan before removing


Top with desired whipped topping & berries

Enjoy πŸ™‚


Non-Dairy Chocolate Cheesecake


I usually make a graham cracker crust, but today I didn’t have any graham crackers, so I just made a regular pastry crust.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Never Fail Pie CrustΒ 

1 C. Flour (I use whole wheat)

3/4 Tsp. Salt

1/3 C. Shortening

Ice Cold Water in a bowl

Mix dry goods ~ cut in shortening ~ stir in a little water at a time until forms a ball (not sticky)

Roll out

and place in pie plate.

Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

For Filling ~Β 

3 8 Oz. Tofutti Better than Cream Cheese

1 C. Sugar (I use Sugar in the Raw)

1 Tsp. Vanilla

2 Eggs + 1 Egg Yolk

1/4 C. Coconut Milk

4 Oz. Semisweet Baker’s Chocolate (melted)

In a large mixing bowl beat cream cheese, sugar, flour and vanilla. Add melted chocolate and fold into the cream cheese mixture. Add eggs and egg yolk all at once, beating on low speed just till combined. Stir in milk.

Pour filling into crust lined pan. Place cookie sheet on 2nd oven rack to catch overflow. Bake at 375 degrees for 40-50 minutes.

Center will appear nearly set when shaken. Cool on a wire rack for 45 minutes. Cover and chill at least 4 hours before serving.


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  1. What Joy Is Mine

    I think my husband and I are a rarity I suppose. :o) But I look forward to trying your recipes. Thank you for sharing at WJIM.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Rarity are so special! My parents have a marriage like that πŸ˜‰ Thank you for stoppin by and enjoy the recipes! πŸ™‚

  2. CJ - Food Stories

    Enjoying your site so I’m nominating you for the Illuminating Blogger Award for informative, illuminating blog content. I know not everyone participates in blog awards but I hope you’ll at least check it out because it’s a great way to discover new blogs and meet new web friends. If you’re interested in participating, you can check out the details at my site … http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/ … Either way, hope you’re having a great day!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you so much! I stopped over! This made my day! πŸ™‚

  3. Laura

    Yum! That looks absolutely delicious. I’m always looking for new recipes for the fourth of July picnic, maybe this is it! Good thoughts on giving each other space too, friend. Very good advice.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      The sour cream pound cake is great for the 4th of July! πŸ™‚ Top it with whip cream, blueberries and strawberries! YUM! πŸ™‚ Thank you for your kind words πŸ™‚ Thank you for stopping by! πŸ™‚

  4. Sage

    Thanks for sharing the recipes, they sound great!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      They are super yummy! πŸ™‚

  5. Julia

    These dairy free recipes sound great.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      They are super yummy! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stoppin by! I’d love to hear what you think if you try them! πŸ™‚

  6. Tamara

    Thanks for sharing these thoughtful insights! With all the insanity of running 2 home based businesses, and raising 3 kids I fear my husband is the one who often gets left out of the mix. We’ve tried to pull together more these days by scheduling regular date nights, and literally adding time together into our calendars! ( i know.. it’s sad). But with together time, and work time.. aline time is still important too! We’re still working out this whole balance!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      It is hard! That is no doubt! However works for y’all is the way to do it! πŸ™‚ If scheduling works, then go for it! πŸ™‚ It is a delicate balance, that is learned over time πŸ˜‰ Thanks for stoppin by! πŸ™‚

  7. Jenny B

    Had the same problem telling when to hang out and when to leave alone when we first got married! Now that it’s been more than 6 years, he’s actually changed and doesn’t need or want as much alone time. So about the time you figure it out, it changes πŸ˜‰ The desserts look YUM!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Mine has come around a lot too πŸ˜‰ It’s amazing what prayer and time can do! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚ The desserts are yummy πŸ˜‰ You should try them! πŸ™‚

  8. Mandi

    Yum! You look like an awesome baker! Wish I had that skill. πŸ™‚

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      They are so yummy! πŸ™‚ Neither is very hard, if you have any questions I’d be happy to help you walk through them! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stoppin by! πŸ™‚

  9. Brittney Minor

    Fun recipes! I want alone time more than my husband…I am always with the kids and hardly ever go anywhere just for me or by myself…whereas my husband works and is going to school….not that that isn’t fun alone time…but he does do more outings with friends…but when we get time to be alone he wants to be together and that is great, but I would still love alone time!!!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      I too stay home with the kiddos all the time, and rarely go out by myself or with friends. I have fallen in love with blogging, so that is where I find my alone time. πŸ™‚

  10. Camille

    I, too, am bad at giving him space! In almost 10 years of marriage, I’m getting better at it, though! πŸ™‚

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Progress, it’s all about progress. πŸ™‚ Thanks for stoppin by! πŸ™‚

  11. Beth

    Interestingly enough, I’m more the one who wants alone time than my husband. But yesterday all he wanted for Father’s Day was to watch all the different games that were on. So that’s his “alone time,” but he always wants someone (me in particular) to be with him and not say a word while he watches. So I can do that! Thanks so much for this great insight!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      My hubby wants to couch to himself! LOL! Yesterday we had a busy, go go go day, so it was very different for him. He did enjoy the couch once the day was done though! πŸ™‚ It is a different balance for all couples, one that is so worth finding! You both end up benefiting from it once you figure it out! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stoppin by! πŸ™‚

  12. Olivia

    You are right today helping your significant other is just lots of heavy lifting in the eyes of some. Love the recipe. It sounds yummy.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes it is, most see it as physical labor when it is so much more! I hope you’re gonna love the recipes! πŸ™‚

  13. Kelley Johnsen

    I love your advice about reading your spouse and knowing when to give each other some space. You become a great compliment to each other when you can know what the other needs before they even have to ask! Great post! I am going to be enjoying you recipes! Very excited to try them out. I am Pinning them to my Virtual BBQ board!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes that is very true! It is so nice when you begin to compliment each other! πŸ™‚ I love the recipes above, two of them are family recipes passed down to me and we LOVE them! Thanks for stoppin by and for the BBQ link up πŸ™‚

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