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Reactions Define You - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Oct 29

Reactions Define You

Reactions… many pictures come to mind….

Cutting words….deep breaths….quiet answers….


How do you react? Have you ever thought about your reactions defining you?


By the time you married, you already held certain basic convictions. You knew right from wrong. You did what you thought was right, and no one could persuade you differently. But now you find yourself and your convictions challenged by someone who may not share your established standards and worldview. He may be more liberal than you, more permissive, or he may be stricter and more legalistic. The presence of children further complicates the situation. You want desperately to do what is right for them, but you have submitted yourself under the authority of another. Life is not going the way you had planned, and you can’t act or react the way you wanted to. You find yourself pushed to the limits of your patience, and then you react in unsubmissive and selfish anger.


Your reactions define who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level. <– Wow! Share Me     


You can control your future reactions considerably by changing the way you think before you are pressed into a response. The way you think every day determines the way you feel, and it will determine how you will react in stressful situations. 

The heart is filled with thoughts, and it is out of that reservoir of thoughts that the mouth speaks words of praise or bitterness. When the pressure is on, and the dam of reservation breaks loose, you cannot control what you say, because you will speak from the abundance of your heart ~ from the 40,000 thoughts you had that day, and all the days before.  


If you, as a wife, are going to change the way you have been speaking, it is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of thought power.  


You are what you think, and God tells you how to think: Think the truth. This is not the power of positive thinking; this is the power of the truth as God defines it. You are created to be your husband’s helper, not his conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.   

 When you develop an adversarial relationship with your husband, you do so on the premise that you are right and he is wrong. You are also assuming that you have the duty to resist, confront, and challenge him. In thinking he is wrong and you are right, you declare yourself wiser than he, more spiritual, more discerning, more sacrificial, etc. All his adds up to the obvious conclusion that you have assumed the role of leadership, teacher, and judge. This is sinful and odious, and it displeases God greatly. No woman will ever have peace and joy until her mind is filled with goodwill toward her husband, and she is committed to becoming a good help meet for him.


Have fun.  Remember the good times during the difficult times.

You married him for a reason, find those reasons.


Your reactions are based on your feelings, and your feelings based on your thoughts. <– Tweet the Truth

Change them, you alone can do this with the Lord’s help. No one can do it for you. 

Past studies through Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Help Meet”



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  1. Ruth@GraceLaced

    Great reminders! Thanks for linking up with GraceLaced! 🙂

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for stoppin by! 🙂 Blessings! 🙂

  2. Laura

    Such good thoughts here! Navigating those differing opinions in a marriage can be tricky. I like this advise: you were created to be his helpmate. This is the best place to react from, isn’t it? Thanks for these good words.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, knowing and living as we were created to be is the best place to be and to have the right reactions! Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings! 🙂

  3. Michelle Eichner

    What great insights and challenges you have about our relationships. So glad I stopped by. Thanks for sharing! Blessings to you, Michelle

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for your kind words and for stoppin by! Blessings!

  4. Kari

    Great truth my sister in Christ! I love your heart and the conviction God has given you to speak truth into the lives of all help meets!! Thank you for being you. Blessings friend!

    And I LOVE the picture!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      You are too sweet! Thanks for your kind words sister! Blessings! (((hugs)))

  5. Ashley

    Hello! I am new to your blog and so glad I found it!! Wonderful post!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Aww thank you for your kind words and for stoppin by! Blessings!

  6. Lori

    “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Oh, I wonder how much wisdom we’d glean and how much trouble we’d avoid if we applied this principle to our relationship with our husbands. God linked us together so that they might refine us, making us more like Christ. So often we run from the sandpaper instead of trustingly submitting.

    I’m visiting from Be Not Weary today, and glad I did 🙂

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, if it was applied in m any areas, especially our marriages, how different our lives would be! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!

  7. Lisa notes

    “You are created to be your husband’s helper, not his conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.” So true. Thanks for sharing.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, it is so very true! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!

  8. Jenni Mullinix

    A much needed reminder… Thanks for sharing!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Absolutely 🙂 Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!

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