What does my blog title mean? The words are simple, yet how do they apply to myself, my family and our lives? These are a couple questions I feel are important to answer, so that my readers would know who I am, and where I am coming from.
A few years ago, my mother’s best friend sent me a book. (Someone is always sending me a book and I LOVE it!) At that time, my husband and I were struggling, yet again, in our marriage. The book changed my life. It changed my perspective, it changed my attitude. It changed me. The title of the book is “Created to be His Help Meet”, by Debi Pearl. The book is a jewel, and it has a wonderful journal that goes along with it. I have read it at least 3 times, over the last few years and I think I am do another read through.
It seems so “old school” to refer to yourself as a “help meet”. I used to think of that term and picture my grandmother back in the 40′s and 50′s. I used to picture a perfectly clean home, dinner always perfect, perfectly behaved children, etc. Thankfully that is not the description of a “help meet”, it’s a false picture. I used to think that their houses were perfect. Yet dinner wasn’t perfect, and their children weren’t perfect. They just ran their home, took care of their husbands and children, period. The way they were taught, just as we run ours the way we were taught, for the most part.
What does the term “help meet” mean? It means that we were created to help our husbands, to meet him where is at. To help whenever and however necessary. The term “help meet”, comes from the book of Genesis.
” And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
This is exactly how we were created, what we were made to be. There is no getting around that, I am here to help my husband, to meet HIS needs. It is not the other way around, he was created first, I was created FOR him!
Am I saying that it is always easy to help him all the time, however and whenever he needs it? No, for I am not perfect. Do I always do what I’m supposed to? No, again I am not perfect. Do I strive to do my best? Absolutely. Yet I am still learning, and God is still molding me. I AM a work in progress.
The biggest lesson that I learned from the book, was in regards to decisions that my husband made that I struggled with. Submitting. Yes that word. It is a word that torments many of us, especially those of us that are stubborn and strong willed.
Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines it as follows…..
SUBMIS’SION, n. [L. submissio, from submitto.]
1. The act of submitting; the act of yielding to power or authority; surrender of the person and power to the control or government of another.
Submission, dauphin! ’tis a mere French word;
We English warriors wot not what it means.
2. Acknowledgment of inferiority or dependence; humble or suppliant behavior.
In all submission and humility,
York doth present himself unto your highness.
3. Acknowledgment of a fault; confession or error.
Be not as extreme in submission, as in offense.
4. Obedience; compliance with the commands or laws of a superior. Submission of children to their parents is an indispensable duty.
5. Resignation; a yielding of one’s will to the will or appointment of a superior without murmuring. Entire and cheerful submission to the will of God is a christian duty of prime excellence.
Definition #2 is where I find myself really connecting to the word “submission”. I was created to be dependent on my husband. He was created to be the leader of the home, to “wear the pants” in the family. He is responsible to the Lord for how he leads, guides and directs our family. I am responsible for submitting to his authority (definition #1), to being dependent on him. Is it always easy? Again, no it isn’t. I am not perfect.
Debi Pearl speaks of submission similar to this…. (you really should read this book if you connect with anything I’m saying, it is life changing)
Your husband is responsible to the Lord for his family. For what he does, what he teaches, for the decisions he makes for them, etc. Much like a pastor is responsible to the Lord for the flock in his church.
My calling isn’t to try and change his decision, my calling is to submit. Period. If I don’t agree with the decision, that’s ok. I am not accountable for it, my husband is. This truly makes submitting much easier for me.
Does this mean I can’t speak to him about the disagreement I have? No, but I (try to) ALWAYS pray about it first. If it is something that I STRONGLY disagree with I will speak to him in private about the topic (again I’m not perfect at that either, there are times I don’t wait to be in private :/) If it is something that doesn’t line up with God’s Word, then I pray immediately that God would be with me as I speak to my husband and discuss it as soon as possible. If it does not go against God’s Word, I strive to always submit.
God calls me to submit to my husband. There’s no way around that.
“Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
By submitting to my husband, I am in turn submitting to the Lord.
My children are always watching, I want my daughter to grow up and know how to submit. If I don’t do it, how can she? If I don’t give the visual picture of submission to my husband, how can she or my son learn to submit to the Lord?
This is a small picture of who I am, who I strive to be daily and why I live the way I do.
I highly recommend the book “Created to be His Help Meet”.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me @ email@example.com
This “post” is actually a page link listed at the top of my blog, if you wish to find it later