This topic can be a sticky one.
As a former working help meet, I can attest to the difficulties my desire to be home with my children brought to my marriage due to my poor attitude, pressuring my husband and a lack of faith in God; prior to reading Debi’s book. Once I read, understood and accepted all that she taught and encouraged, I handed over the timing of God’s will to Him. You can read more about this part of my story here.
To be keepers at home…..
This is the sixth of eight mandates for young women. It is not a suggestion, it is God’s will for wives.
A young mother’s place is in the home, keeping it, guarding it, watching over those entrusted to her.
What if your husband tells you to go to work and leave your children at day care or with a babysitter, in conflict with God’s command for you to be a keeper at home? It is God’s will for a woman to love and obey her husband, and it is God’s will for her to be a keeper at home. Whom do you obey? This is where firm conviction of faith in God becomes vital. God can make a way for you to obey both. The important thing is attitude.
If you have a heart of surrender to your husband’s will and a heart to obey God, it becomes God’s responsibility to resolve the conflict.
….understand that if you are willing to obey in all areas and you do not build a spirit of rebellion toward your husband or God, your appeal is more likely to fall on sympathetic ears.
Commit your way to God, and tell your husband that you will do as he says. Then express your concern for the children, showing him to the Scripture that constitutes your dilemma. Tell him that you want to help with the finances and you also want to protect and train up the children. Ask him how you can do both. Your attitude must be trusting, not accusatory or judgmental. There can be no hint of an ultimatum or a pending rebellion.
Trust is the key word. Depend on your husband’s wisdom and guidance.
Most men would allow their wives to stay at home if the wife could show that it was her heartfelt, Spirit-led desire to be obedient to God in the matter of child training and if she could learn to be more frugal and content. Pray, and ask God to change your husband’s heart and financial situation. Be prepared for an extreme change in your lifestyle.
God will rescue a trusting heart.
“Keeping the home” is more than staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home.
A help meet will be engaged in creative enterprises that challenge and inspire the children. She will guard the home against outside influences, and she will always be on watch to protect the children from their own inventions of evil. She will not be idle and neither will her children. She will ease her husband’s load by painting the hall and cutting the grass. She will be frugal in all her endeavors, and she will teach the children to love serving Daddy. She will keep the home so that when Daddy comes home, it is a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.
A real help meet will make herself useful to her man instead of wasting her time. <— Tweet Me! :)
All words in italics are from Debi Pearl’s book “Created to Be His Help Meet”
Past studies through her book are here