This topic can be a sticky one.
As a former working help meet, I can attest to the difficulties my desire to be home with my children brought to my marriage due to my poor attitude, pressuring my husband and a lack of faith in God; prior to reading Debi’s book. Once I read, understood and accepted all that she taught and encouraged, I handed over the timing of God’s will to Him. You can read more about this part of my story here.
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To be keepers at home…..
This is the sixth of eight mandates for young women. It is not a suggestion, it is God’s will for wives.
A young mother’s place is in the home, keeping it, guarding it, watching over those entrusted to her.
What if your husband tells you to go to work and leave your children at day care or with a babysitter, in conflict with God’s command for you to be a keeper at home? It is God’s will for a woman to love and obey her husband, and it is God’s will for her to be a keeper at home. Whom do you obey? This is where firm conviction of faith in God becomes vital. God can make a way for you to obey both. The important thing is attitude.
If you have a heart of surrender to your husband’s will and a heart to obey God, it becomes God’s responsibility to resolve the conflict.
….understand that if you are willing to obey in all areas and you do not build a spirit of rebellion toward your husband or God, your appeal is more likely to fall on sympathetic ears.
Commit your way to God, and tell your husband that you will do as he says. Then express your concern for the children, showing him to the Scripture that constitutes your dilemma. Tell him that you want to help with the finances and you also want to protect and train up the children. Ask him how you can do both. Your attitude must be trusting, not accusatory or judgmental. There can be no hint of an ultimatum or a pending rebellion.
Trust is the key word. Depend on your husband’s wisdom and guidance.
Most men would allow their wives to stay at home if the wife could show that it was her heartfelt, Spirit-led desire to be obedient to God in the matter of child training and if she could learn to be more frugal and content. Pray, and ask God to change your husband’s heart and financial situation. Be prepared for an extreme change in your lifestyle.
God will rescue a trusting heart.
“Keeping the home” is more than staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home.
A help meet will be engaged in creative enterprises that challenge and inspire the children. She will guard the home against outside influences, and she will always be on watch to protect the children from their own inventions of evil. She will not be idle and neither will her children. She will ease her husband’s load by painting the hall and cutting the grass. She will be frugal in all her endeavors, and she will teach the children to love serving Daddy. She will keep the home so that when Daddy comes home, it is a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.
A real help meet will make herself useful to her man instead of wasting her time. <— Tweet Me! 🙂
All words in italics are from Debi Pearl’s book “Created to Be His Help Meet”
Past studies through her book are here
10 comments
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Funmi
August 15, 2013 at 6:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks for this message. We are to be the keepers at home and also help meet for our husbands. It is great if we can school our children at home, but in a situation where we cannot do this which will be the case with a lot of people, I am also of the opinion that not everyone will have the potential for home schooling especially when it has to do with the school work teaching them the different subjects etc not the scriptures. There are a lot of benefits if children are allowed to go to public/private school as the case may be and meet other children so they can develop different aspects of relationships and also there are disadvantages – negative peer influence etc,. But whatever happens we as mothers as a great role to play in building up of our children. We must find time to teach them in the way of the Lord so that when they grow up, they will not depart from it. It takes a lot of commitment and determination to do this. Our job or time should not be an excuse for not training up our children in the way of the Lord. There is need to trust and seek the strength of the Lord in doing this. When we are able to teach them what the standard of God is, when they meet with other people, it will not be possible for them to be easily influenced negatively. God bless.
simplyhelpinghim
August 15, 2013 at 6:45 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I believe a lot of people don’t see it as an option, when in reality is more an option than we think. We get so used to a 2nd income and all the conveniences it provides, and yet our children and their lives are worth more than any $ can provide. I speak of this as a previously full time working mom, and I know most women write staying home/homeschooling without even a thought.
God is faithful, and so long as we are truly seeking Him and His ways for us and our families, then we will not be lost. Our children’s love for the Lord comes from that which we live in front of them, teach and speak to them.
Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!
carol
June 30, 2013 at 5:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I admire your passion and agree with much you say but sometimes the women who work outside the home are not merely improveing the family’s finances but are preforming compassionate service to mankind. I’m speaking of those who teach the young and those that are caregivers of the sick and disabled in hospitals and institutions across this land. Careing for the home and your children is a calling but so is careing for those who cannot care for themselves. We also serve God.
simplyhelpinghim
July 2, 2013 at 6:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Serving God outside the home is a great calling, and I worked outside the home for many years and was blessed to see God work in those around me. I believe that our first callings as women is to be help meets to our husbands and keepers of our homes. It is something that is not looked on as a ministry, and we fail to succeed in the ministry that God created us for.
Erika
March 6, 2013 at 2:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Anything that my husband asks me to do, I do my best to submit. But what if he really isn’t asking? What if he is just complaining or full of fear of finances? Am I to submit to that? I take care of our home and our bills and our 4 children who are all in school. 2 of them are 6 and 7, so my afternoons are taken to meet their needs. I also have my own photography business and I contribute about one third of our income. I feel like I have more than enough on my plate. I feel balanced and I trust that God will provide. But when things get slow for my husbands business, he panics and starts telling me I need to make more money. He never directly asks me to do something, its just in the tone of complaining. What do you suggest?
simplyhelpinghim
March 8, 2013 at 8:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I too know the feeling of having more than enough on my plate. Yes, it is hard at times to submit to all that my husband is asking of me. My advice when he starts to panic is to stop and pray immediately hopefully with him, but without him if necessary. Pray that God would bless the work of your husband’s hands, that he would grow strong in his faith that God is the ultimate provider. Also, when he starts to indirectly ask you to do something, be direct. Ask him what he would like you to do, how can you help him. Praying that God strengthens you at your times of difficulty and grows your marriage stronger through Him alone. If you would like to chat more please feel free to email me @ simplyhelpinghim(at)gmail(dot)com
Elizabeth
February 28, 2013 at 10:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I liked this post! Keeping and Guarding the Home is far more than just staying at home — so true!
I like the idea or surrendering to God and trusting Him to solve the conflict! Very wise advice.
Sarah is held up as our ideal — and she submitted to Abraham even when he asked her to say that he was her brother. This half-truth got her into a hareem! But, God protected her! What faith and trust — and what an amazing God! 🙂
thanks for adding your post to the Marriage Monday link up!!
simplyhelpinghim
March 2, 2013 at 8:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We covered Sarah and Abraham in our Bible class this week 🙂 It definitely sparked conversation with my lil blessings! 🙂 It’s always amazing to see what God does with our shortcomings! 🙂 Blessings!
Laura
February 27, 2013 at 3:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I like the idea of surrendering the conflict to God…trusting in the Creator to work it out. That is wisdom at work right there 🙂
simplyhelpinghim
February 28, 2013 at 11:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Amen! 🙂