As a couple with a family of lil ones, it is often difficult to find time, energy, and even desire to have alone time together, as a couple.
Hubby’s are often tired from a long day of work. They come home spend time being daddy until the kiddos bedtime, and he collapses, thankful for the quiet, remote and bedtime.
Wives are exhausted from a long day at work (away from home or stay at home, both qualify). Making dinner, doing dishes, bath time, reading/cuddle time….all this takes up her energy. Finally, a hot bubble bath, soothing music, candles and a book are her haven for the evening.
Where do you find time or energy? Does it really matter if you have alone time together?
Alone couple time is not easy to come by, you can’t make more time unfortunately. I have wished that many times, lol! Yet you must allow time for you as a couple! Some couples write in dates on their monthly calendars, some rely on last minute ideas. The latter option can be difficult if you don’t have family near by, or a babysitter open to last minute requests. Others plan a yearly getaway for themselves. I’m sure there are a lot more options for learning to plan time alone as a couple, these are just a few I’ve tried and/or used.
When I was working full time, and did not have reliable/available child care, I used to plan in home “dates’. I would prepare a dinner or dessert just for the two of us ~ after the kiddos went to bed, we would sit, eat, visit, watch a movie, etc. Just something together, different than a regular day of life.
I honestly believe and know first hand how essential alone time together is. Amongst our busy lives, we become disconnected, stressed, lonely, etc. when we do not make this time a priority.
There is not always time, budget, planning, etc. for a “date”. Do not throw in the towel. Staying up after your kids go to bed and spending time together counts! Chatting about your day, taking a walk together HOLD HANDS (no you aren’t in high school, but who cares ~ think about the elderly couples ~ they’re STILL holding hands and WE say, or think how awesome and cute it is! So just do it!), watch a movie together (you can talk through a movie at home ~ an added benefit!), play games, cook or bake together! The list goes on and on ~ use your imagination!
Are you happy with the amount of alone time you get with your spouse? What “alone” time ideas/plans work for you?
18 comments
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What Joy Is Mine
July 14, 2012 at 9:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Our children are older so time with my Love is much easier to find these days. When they were younger we had to be more intentional. You offered some great ideas here. Thank you for sharing at WJIM.
simplyhelpinghim
July 15, 2012 at 8:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, I have heard that time comes easier 😉 For now I must plan and be thankful for each moment alone we have! LOL! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!
homemaker-mom.com
July 13, 2012 at 12:15 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
we try to have date nights at least twice a month but that doesn’t always happen for us.
simplyhelpinghim
July 13, 2012 at 6:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We don’t have them nearly that often, but I cherish them when we get them! Right now it’s our busiest fishing season, so there is little time for togetherness. I find myself remembering this is just the season we are in and praying for him. He is tired all the time right now, so him taking the extra effort to have family time is good enough for me right now. 🙂 Blessings friend!
Sarah
July 11, 2012 at 7:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is SO true. It’s so much work to get time together. It’s definitely worth it, though. Once babes enter the picture, time spent alone is precious, for sure.
simplyhelpinghim
July 11, 2012 at 8:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Precious and priceless! So very, very true! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!
Diane
July 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I cannot tell you how much I agree with the importance of staying close as man and wife. My Husby and I always put our children to bed early so we had a couple of hours together before our own bedtime. That was OUR time. It meant that our children were up early the next morning, but how can that be a bad thing? 🙂 Thank you for all of your invaluable insights. And for sharing on NOBH!
simplyhelpinghim
July 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So very true! My kiddos don’t go to bed early, but we do try and sneak a couple hours together 🙂 The kiddos stay in bed until 7am, so if he isn’t working we get an hour or so in the am together 🙂 Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!
Kari@CountHisBlessings
July 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We do after the kids go to sleep as well. On weekends, during the quiet/nap time, we try and use that time for each other always. It is exhausting some times, not to lay down too, but so worth every minute. My husbands love language is quality time and it is a must for us. I can’t neglet him in that way at all or it shows quickly with him. We don’t have sitters really, but we do the best we can with what we have.
simplyhelpinghim
July 9, 2012 at 6:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is awesome that you have y’all’s love languages figured out and use them to your advantage! It can be very physically exhausting, but the emotional and mental exhaustion that comes without the couple time is worse! Blessings friend! 🙂
Mary Beth
July 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Time together is so important! We try to do date nights. They aren’t regularly scheduled but we go out fairly often. My parents are close so we have that benefit of close, free child care!
Mary Beth
simplyhelpinghim
July 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is so nice to your parents close! Thanks for stoppin by friend! Blessings!
Elizabeth@Warrior Wives
July 9, 2012 at 9:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My husband and I have a great babysitter whom we had babysitting for us every other Friday during our small group meetings. Since our small group is on a break for the summer, we asked her to just keep that day open and we have a set date night. It’s been awesome!! Last week we went mini-golfing and we have not done that in YEARS, probably not since before we had kids almost 5 years ago.
simplyhelpinghim
July 9, 2012 at 10:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is awesome! What a great plan! With my hubby being a fisherman, we typically have to be of the “last minute” date couples, but love it when I actually get the opportunity to plan dates out! Thanks for stoppin by friend! Blessings!
Sharon
July 9, 2012 at 7:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
How true this is! My husband and I have been married for 19 years and I know that having time alone together is essential. And it doesn’t have to be a “date” (although that is what my husband likes), it can be time alone each evening after the kiddos go to bed.
simplyhelpinghim
July 9, 2012 at 8:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So true! With kiddos in the house it often has to be an “at home date” after the kiddos go to bed 😉 Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!
Tereasa
July 9, 2012 at 6:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great suggestions here! We have also found alone time in the morning, by teaching our children to stay in bed until we “free” them. It is nice to connect at both ends of the day.
simplyhelpinghim
July 9, 2012 at 6:50 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is so true! My hubby isn’t usually home when I get up, but when he is I do cherish the time we have together. Our kiddos are “freed” at 7am 😉 This gives everyone time to wake up and get ready for the day, leaving crabbiness behind in the bedroom 😉 Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!