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Handling Disappointment - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Apr 22

Handling Disappointment

It happens, though we often know it shouldn’t. Though we tell ourselves not to have expectations, though we work really hard to ensure we don’t. There are times, when we will find ourselves disappointed in our husbands (and vice versa).

Just like most things, it isn’t the disappointed feeling that is important, it’s what we do with it that matters.

Do we keep it tucked away inside? Let go and let God? Argue and dispute it with him? Fume to ourselves and shut down?

I only wish I could say that I handled disappointment rightly all the time.

I grew up with a very close family. Being a military family brings you close to each other, probably because of all the moving. It is something that I grew up loving, and I suppose I assumed all families were like that.

Hubby didn’t grow up like that.

Often I find myself “expecting” things of him and our family without even realizing it until the disappointment sets in.

Most times I am able to remind myself that our family is different than mine, and that it’s ok. We are all unique and God put us all together for a reason.

Other times, like this past weekend……..I decided we needed to “talk” about my particular disappointment.

This can be beneficial, if you are able to stay on topic, unemotional and strengthen your marriage/family relationships in the process.

It can harm your relationship if you have the wrong attitude, are seeking to only be right and throw darts.

Knowing how to handle each unique disappointment, is a serious matter of prayer.

We tend to expect things of others based on how we handle things. Which is unfair, and we would be/are upset when someone does this to us.

Allowing God to work through our disappointment, often reveals more about us than our hubby.ย 

As is often the case when we hand things over to Him. He is so much better at handling difficult situations. I wish I could remember that in the “heat of the moment”.

My hubby has been quoting a particular verse to the kiddos lately, when we have been struggling with ugly words, strife, etc.

Romans 12:18

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

This is true in our marriages, as well as our day to day lives. Living in peace. With all men…… including our hubby and kiddos.

Does disappointment show it’s face in your marriage? Your family? Friendships?

Choose to deal with it peaceably. Pray about how God would have you handle each disappointment. His way is perfect. He will not steer you wrong.ย 






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  1. Ann @ Christ in the Clouds

    Hi, Misty! I’m reminded of the saying that often, the woman marries, expecting her husband to change, while the husband marries, expecting that his wife won’t ever change. Obviously, both are in error. I’m also still working on not having expectations within my marriage that puts my relationship with my husband in front of God. I do find that I catch myself more often and start praying that the Lord turns those expectations into grace(forgiveness) and gratitude….two things that have changed my attitude about everything in my life.
    In His Love, Ann

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes! :/ We both truly are in error, how thankful it makes me for grace! Thanks so much for stoppin by and sharing! Blessings!

  2. Mama's High Strung

    Thanks for stopping by the Mom’s Monday Mingle. Following you here and everywhere!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for stoppin by! ๐Ÿ™‚ Blessings!

  3. Rachael

    Yes, I know what you mean. It has been kind of like that over here lately too! We are all works in progress, aren’t we? I am still working the kinks out in my marriage after 19 years. Blessings! Love, Rachael @ Inking the Heart

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes! Works in progress! I’m so glad He does not walk away from me because my finishing is taking too long! ๐Ÿ™‚ Blessings to you too! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Janis Cox

    So glad to meet you. I know I felt this way: Often I find myself โ€œexpectingโ€ things of him and our family without even realizing it until the disappointment sets in.
    Until I realized that I only could control myself – no one else. I had to pray for God to help me see others as He sees them.
    Frustration left; peace ensued; love grew; marriage is coming up to 42 years; 6 grandchildren
    Many blessings,
    Following you at Playdates,

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, it is so easy to “expect” without realizing it. God definitely can help us see others differently if we allow Him! Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!

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