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My Childhood Dream Shattered - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Feb 05

My Childhood Dream Shattered

In my childhood dreams, I watched my marriage play out beautifully.

Laughter, devotions, alone time together, kisses and cuddles all abounded.

Conflict and differences were seen, but didn’t need to be addressed.

We were perfect together, our differences didn’t cause issues.


In my life…………..boy do I see things otherwise.

Opposite personalities, different upbringings, age differences, and conflict seem to abound at times. Throughout the last 9 years, we’ve learned to discuss things much better than in the past thankfully.


Yet our marriage is nothing like my childhood dreams.


He likes tennis, I prefer basketball.

He likes alone time, I want us time.

I like having friends over, he wants the couch and remote.

I love trying new recipes, he likes the same meals.


We are like night and day different.


Together we have an imperfect marriage.


Our differences can make life difficult, yet also can drive us to be better together.


The choice is ours. 


We can choose to allow our differences to drive us apart.



We can choose to try things their way once and awhile.


We can choose to be selfless.


I have learned to enjoy alone time. (It’s where I found my love to write.)

I am learning to make meals he likes more often.


I came to realize that no matter who you are with, you’re going to be different in some way, and you will have conflict at some point.

It would just be different differences.


Having an imperfect marriage is a part of life. We are only a picture of the perfect marriage in Christ!

If we think the grass is greener on the other side, we’re lying to ourselves.


There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage.

Only marriages full of God’s grace, forgiveness and His unconditional love. <— Share this Truth!


Are you ready to say goodbye to the “Perfection Infection” that our culture has?


Join me in a book study through Jill Savage’s “No More Perfect Moms”!


Pick up the book here THIS WEEK and get ready to kick off the new year right!






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  1. Susan Heim

    My husband and I are very different, too. Thanks for sharing your experience and advice for getting through these types of challenges!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      🙂 It’s all just trial and error around here 😉 Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!

  2. Mandy

    Love this- I’m married to my opposite as well and can totally relate! Thanks for hopping with us, beautifully said!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      🙂 Growing up I remember someone telling me that opposites attract, and I know that to be very true, though at times I don’t understand why! LOL! Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!

  3. Rachel B

    Thanks for sharing! You’re soooo right…love IS a choice.

    On my blog I shared today about a different definition of “perfect”.

    I’m embracing our perfectly imperfect marriage, because it’s driving us to HIM. We’re growing, thriving and maturing together. Beautifully perfect! 🙂

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes! God is working through all of the love choices we make! Growing our marriage through Him just works on making our marriage more like what He created it to be! 🙂 Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!

  4. Making Our Life Matter

    My hubby and I have similar tastes on *most* things. The ones we don’t? Well, we compromise, even if we don’t always agree. Will definitely have to check out this book!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, compromise and working together is key! 🙂 The book is wonderful hope you have time to read it! Blessings!

  5. Julie From Inmates

    This is sooo true! I enjoyed reading.

    Thank you so much for particpating in What I Learned This Week, I really appreicate it. Please remember to link back to my blog somewhere within your post when you participate. If you need help with linking back to me, I’d be glad to help you.

    Have a great week and again, thank you so much for participating!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thanks for stoppin by! I have a page where I list all of my link ups by day, this is what I have seen most bloggers moving towards.

  6. deborah

    This all sounds familiar! 🙂 I say a hearty amen! Sometimes I can feel so frustrated with our differences and other times I wouldn’t trade them. I love the book Sacred Marriage and it’s byline-What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More Than to Make us Happy. Marriage has shown me my selfishness and then becoming a mother magnified my selfishness all the more!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      I have heard that by-line before, but never knew where it came from. Thank you for sharing that! I love it! Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!

  7. Leslie

    Well said!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      😉 Blessings sis!

  8. Janmary, N Ireland

    Hi – first time visitor to your blog – so right that we choose how we deal with our differences – some of them make life interesting, others teach us tolerance and patience!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes! Tolerance and patience! Those are two I’m quite sure I don’t have down yet 😉 Blessings!

  9. Madison

    Great post!!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for stoppin by and for your kind words! Blessings!

  10. Wani

    such a great reminder! sometimes our differences drive me insane… and others I am thankful for them.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes, there are great difference days and not so great difference days 😉 I hear ya there! Blessings! 🙂

  11. Jill Savage


    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for stoppin by Jill! You’re such an inspiration! (((hugs)))

  12. Laura @ Pruning Princesses

    Oh the differences. I could make a similar list only much longer. It amazed me how much time I spent studying in school and yet no one offered even a glimpse into real, honest marriage or parenting. Praise the Lord for grace and changing perspectives!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      That list is not all inclusive sis 😉 LOL! That was just a few! God is definitely full of grace and providing change when we need it! 🙂

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