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Created To Be His Help Meet Study ~ Week Two - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Aug 13

Created To Be His Help Meet Study ~ Week Two

Do you know why women were created? If so, how do you feel about it? Do you consider it a blessing, a curse or have you not really thought about how it applies to you?

Guess what?!?!

You didn’t marry “Mr. Right”, because that comes along with a fairy tale! You aren’t “Mrs. Right” either, both of you are sinners. There is no fairy tale.

We were created to be our husband’s helpers! They need us. God custom designed us to fill their needs (not the other way around). God calls us a “good thing”, and a man obtains God’s favor by getting a wife. We were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment equal to him. 

If God created a special woman perfectly suited to be your husband’s helper, would you be that woman? Just as you are, right now?

Does your husband share Adam’s feelings of delight when he looks upon you? Do you wake each morning ready to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability – to be his helper? Are you engaged in active goodwill toward your man? That is God’s perfect will for you. 

When you are a help meet to your husband, you are a helper to Christ, for God commissioned man for a purpose and gave him a woman to assist in fulfilling that divine calling. When you honor your husband, you honor God. When you obey your husband, you obey God. The degree to which you reverence your husband is the degree to which you reverence your Creator. As we serve our husbands, we serve God. But in the same way, when you dishonor your husband, you dishonor God. 

It is your nature to be your husband’s helper. Don’t fight it. 

Remember, when you are a helpmeet to your husband, you are a helper to Christ!


Homework! 🙂 

Find new ways this week to help your hubby. Tell me about them as a comment, chat or email.



Previous Posts in this Series

Introduction       Once Upon A Time



Vermont Maple Oatmeal Bread Recipe

We are loving this bread, but it is a bit expensive to make as an everyday bread. So it will be our favorite once in a while bread. Enjoy!

I started with this recipe here, but tweaked it as you will see below.

Dough Ingredients

3/4 C. + 2 Tbl. Hot Water

1/2 C. Old Fashioned Oats

1/4 C. Maple Syrup

1/4 C. Shortening

1 1/4 Tsp. Salt

1/2 Tsp. Cinnamon

3/4 C. King Arthur Whole Wheat Flour

2 C. King Arthur Bread Flour

2 1/4 Tsp. Fast Acting Yeast

Topping Ingredients

Maple Syrup & Sugar (mixed to desired consistency)


In a large mixing bowl, combine the water, oats, maple syrup, shortening, salt and cinnamon. Let cool to lukewarm; this will happen as you stir.

Add the flours and yeast, stirring to form a rough dough. Knead about 10  minutes by hand.

Transfer the dough to a lightly greased bowl or measuring up (8 C.+). Cover the bowl or cup with plastic wrap, and allow the dough to rise for 90 minutes.

It should be very puffy and about double in size.

Gently deflate the dough, and shape into an 8″ log. Place it in a lightly greased loaf pan.

Cover the pan with plastic wrap and let it rise until it’s about 1″ over the edge of the pan. Approximately 60-90 minutes.

Gently brush the top of the loaf with the maple syrup and water.

Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

For the last 10-15 minutes you might want to cover it with foil to prevent over-browning.

The interior of the loaf should read 190 degrees on a thermometer.

Yes I forgot to get a picture before we cut into it! LOL!

It was so yummy! Enjoy!



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  1. MotherofPearl

    I just read this and it comes at a time that I am experiencing tremendous struggle in my marriage. My husband and I are not partners in any sense, and no matter what I do, he won’t work with me to change that. He doesn’t communicate, he doesn’t agree with me on parenting, he disrespects me and he goes out of his way to prove he doesn’t need me for anything. I went back to college but am unable to finish due to lack of fees, and am now looking for a job. He says that until I start working and help with the bills, he has nothing to discuss with me. I reject that because I don’t want to feel like I have to buy his love with money. I understand that we are struggling financially, but the fact that I don’t have a job currently doesn’t mean I am worthless. I am ready to quit coz I have been feeling unloved and not valued by him for a long time now. Yet I know that God hates divorce. I have been praying for a long time for the Lord to change both our hearts, to give me wisdom to know how to be his helper and for him to love me for who I am, to value me as his wife and to work with me to make our marriage better.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Dear Sis…..I do understand parts of what you say, and exactly where you are. I wish I had the perfect words to say and salve to heal all the hurt. I offer you this, God is good. He is all we truly need. When our husbands are not being that which they are called to be, it is to our Bridegroom we must look! Might I encourage you to please pick up a copy of Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Help Meet”? It is within these pages that my heart found peace, strength and guidance I had never known. To see where I have been and where God has brought me to, humbly I request you check out my e-book, “Unfulfilled“. If you would like to chat further, please feel free to email me @ simplyhelpinghim(at)gmail(dot)com

  2. Amy Hedderly

    I struggled so much when I first learned this concept. In my heart I knew it was true even though I’d been raised by my father and taught to be tough and independant, and to never depend on a man for anything. The best decision I ever made for my marriage was to ask my husband for help. He knew my upbringing. I expressed my desire to be a Godly wife, but explained that I didn’t know what that looked like. What a novel idea, right? What better way to understand how to be a helpmeet and submit to your husband than to just ask him?!? We had a great discussion! I’m sure every husband would have a different explanation, but perhaps the answer I got will help someone. Being a naval officer, my husband explained that pur relationship was a bit like the captain and XO on a ship. The captain has full responsibility for the ship and crew. He makes the final decision, but delegates authority to the crew members where he can. The XO is the captain’s right hand man and chief advisor, and takes over command of the ship when the captain is not there. The XO does whatever the captain needs him to, including managing and training the crew, and reports back to the captain regularly so the captain always knows what’s going on and they can work together to solve problems that come up. It helped me tremendously to realize that submission to my husband didn’t mean asking him for permssion for things all the time, but making the decisions he would make in his absense. Submitting means respecting his authority enough to never intentionally make a decision opposite of what he would make himself. I always consult him if I’m not sure what his position would be on an issue, but because of this he trusts me to make the right decisions. My husband often needs me to research and compile information to present to him so he can make good informed decisions. He values my opinion because he trusts that I his best interest at heart. My father tried to teach me not to depend on a man for anything…turns out my man and I depend on each other for everything!

    This week I will work to train my children in areas that I’ve seen irritate my husband. I will make reminder chart for my daughter who tends to forget her chores. I will help my younger kids practice sitting still and quiet so they can behave a little better in church. And I will have all the kids spend 10 minutes cleaning up the playroom every afternoon so my husband doesn’t have to fuss at them to do it when he gets home. I will not be upset if he doesn’t notice my effort. I will just watch him have less stress about these issues and be content knowing that I made his life a little easier this week.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for sharing that Amy! I love the military explanation, it’s great! 🙂 Miss you dear friend! (((hugs)))


    This is such a GRAND post! So needed today ! I love it because its helping me to rememeber this hard road (yes its been hard for me to be the wife I need to be) Is worth it. Its not just about me its about GOD!! I love the part where you said Don’t fight it!!!!
    Lately my husband needed me to right in the middle of an already planned day do an arun for him while he was at work 20 mins away for him & commute to his work place to deliver it. It came at time that was not easy to do as I had plans but I instead did and did it with love and a smile and knew I am not just doing it for him but for ABBA to. SO in my commute BACK home from his work place I was happy knowing I made husband happy!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Isn’t the feeling great? I too am always busy and have the kiddos, but when he needs something and I take the time to help it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something bigger than I even know! 🙂 Blessings friend!

  4. Kendra@ A Proverbs 31 Wife

    I have this thought that came to me as a young teen: that when God created me, he created me perfectly for my husband.
    One of the ways I recently helped him, actually didn’t help all that much but he loved it. When he was working on my vehicle I stood out there with him while he showed me everything he did, he was especially tickled when I lay down with him under the car to see what he was showing me. (bwt I hate getting dirty lol)

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      It is not something that most women think about I’m finding. They see themselves as equal partners, but little else. There is so much more to it than that! Our men do love it when we show interest in their things don’t they? 😉

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