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Jun 10

Simply Helping Him ~ What it Means to Me

What does my blog title mean? The words are simple, yet how do they apply to myself, my family and our lives? These are a couple questions I feel are important to answer, so that my readers would know who I am, and where I am coming from.

 

A few years ago, my mother’s best friend sent me a book. (Someone is always sending me a book and I LOVE it!) At that time, my husband and I were struggling, yet again, in our marriage. The book changed my life. It changed my perspective, it changed my attitude. It changed me. The title of the book is “Created to be His Help Meet”, by Debi Pearl. The book is a jewel, and it has a wonderful journal that goes along with it. I have read it at least 3 times, over the last few years and I think I am do another read through.

 

It seems so “old school” to refer to yourself as a “help meet”. I used to think of that term and picture my grandmother back in the 40′s and 50′s. I used to picture a perfectly clean home, dinner always perfect,  perfectly behaved children, etc. Thankfully that is not the description of a “help meet”, it’s a false picture. I used to think that their houses were perfect, dinner wasn’t perfect, and their children weren’t perfect. They just ran their home, took care of their husbands and children, period. The way they were taught, just as we run ours the way we were taught, for the most part.

 

What does the term “help meet” mean? It means that we were created to help our husbands, to meet him where is at. To help whenever and however necessary. The term “help meet”, comes from the book of Genesis.

Genesis 2:18-23

” And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

 

This is exactly how we were created, what we were made to be. There is no getting around that, I am here to help my husband, to meet HIS needs. It is not the other way around, he was created first, I was created FOR him!

 

Am I saying that it is always easy to help him all the time, however and whenever he needs it? No, for I am not perfect. Do I always do what I’m supposed to? No, again I am not perfect. Do I strive to do my best? Absolutely. Yet I am still learning, and God is still molding me. I AM a work in progress.

 

The biggest lesson that I learned from the book, was in regards to decisions that my husband made that I struggled with. Submitting. Yes that word. It is a word that torments many of us, especially those of us that are stubborn and strong willed.

 

Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines it as follows…..

submission

SUBMIS’SION, n. [L. submissio, from submitto.]

 

1. The act of submitting; the act of yielding to power or authority; surrender of the person and power to the control or government of another.

Submission, dauphin! ’tis a mere French word;

We English warriors wot not what it means.

2. Acknowledgment of inferiority or dependence; humble or suppliant behavior.

In all submission and humility,

York doth present himself unto your highness.

3. Acknowledgment of a fault; confession or error.

Be not as extreme in submission, as in offense.

4. Obedience; compliance with the commands or laws of a superior. Submission of children to their parents is an indispensable duty.

5. Resignation; a yielding of one’s will to the will or appointment of a superior without murmuring. Entire and cheerful submission to the will of God is a christian duty of prime excellence.

Definition #2 is where I find myself really connecting to the word “submission”. I was created to be dependent on my husband. He was created to be the leader of the home, to “wear the pants” in the family. He is responsible to the Lord for how he leads, guides and directs our family. I am responsible for submitting to his authority (definition #1), to being dependent on him. Is it always easy? Again, no it isn’t. I am not perfect.

 

Debi Pearl speaks of submission similar to this…. (you really should read this book if you connect with anything I’m saying, it is life changing)

Your husband is responsible to the Lord for his family. For what he does, what he teaches, for the decisions he makes for them, etc. Much like a pastor is responsible to the Lord for the flock in his church.

 

My calling isn’t to try and change his decision, my calling is to submit. Period. If I don’t agree with the decision, that’s ok. I am not accountable for it, my husband is. This truly makes submitting much easier for me.

 

Does this mean I can’t speak to him about the disagreement I have? No, but I (try to) ALWAYS pray about it first. If it is something that I STRONGLY disagree with I will speak to him in private about the topic (again I’m not perfect at that either, there are times I don’t wait to be in private :/) If it is something that doesn’t line up with God’s Word, then I pray immediately that God would be with me as I speak to my husband and discuss it as soon as possible. If it does not go against God’s Word, I strive to always submit.

God calls me to submit to my husband. There’s no way around that.

Ephesians 5:22 

 “Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

By submitting to my husband, I am in turn submitting to the Lord.

 

My children are always watching, I want my daughter to grow up and know how to submit. If I don’t do it, how can she? If I don’t give the visual picture of submission to my husband, how can she or my son learn to submit to the Lord?

 

This is a small picture of who I am, who I strive to be daily and why I live the way I do.

I highly recommend the book “Created to be His Help Meet”. 

 

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me @ simplyhelpinghim@gmail.com

 

This “post” is actually a page link listed at the top of my blog, if you wish to find it later :)

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18 comments

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  1. laura

    I read somewhere that the word for help mate used in Genesis is the same word that David frequently uses in the Psalms for our amazing God. I think that is something we often miss about being a help mate: it requires great love and passion.

    Great thoughts here! Thanks for linking them up to Playdates with God!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      So true! GREAT LOVE AND PASSION! It is not an easy task, yet one so very important! Thanks for stoppin by! :)

  2. Michelle

    I so get you when you talk about the 50s vision of helpmeet. I sometimes feel that way about the P31 wife. However, doing the Good Morning Girls study of P31 God is renewing and showing me what that wife really is – not Martha Stewart, but a woman after God’s own heart. That’s what I long to be and when I am that, I am able to fully submit to my husband and his leadership. Thank you for linking up with Caffeinated Randomness this week.

    PS – I love your blog name and header!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      I am going through the GMG study as well and am LOVING it! I loved it when they said that this isn’t one woman’s one day, it is whole lifetime! She doesn’t have to do everything in one day! That was something I had NEVER thought about! It was very freeing to me! Thank you for stoppin by! I love them too! It took a few tries to find the perfect one, but I love it! :)

  3. Shara Anderson

    A mentor of mine recommended this book and we actually did a podcast together in regards to respecting your husband. She is a mom of 14 kids and has lived this through and through! Thanks for this post!

    In case you were interested the podcast is at http://blogging-mama.com/family/respecting-your-husband-podcast-with-becky/

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for stoppin by and sharing the podcast link :) I will definitely check that out :)

  4. summer

    Came across your blog from Miscellany Monday. I love what you have to say and I’m interested in reading the book, but I wonder what your (and others’) opinions are when your husband is not the spiritual leader of the home (e.g. not religious/spiritual)?

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      I prayed. I still pray. I struggle some days. Yet I know that God is in control, even though my husband might not realize it or acknowledge it. I am not the “leader” of our home, but I am more the spiritual one in our home. I teach my children the ways of the Lord, live for the Lord myself and pray that God would raise him up to be the leader I know he was created to be! I definitely recommend this book, it will encourage you to live as God calls you to live, as a help meet. If you’d like to chat please feel free to email me :) simplyhelpinghim@gmail.com :)

  5. Beth

    Great words, helpful insights and important verses to live by! Thanks so much for challenging us to do what God calls us to do as wives!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Thank you for stopping by! I’m glad you found some of my story helpful! That is my prayer for this blog! :)

  6. simplyhelpinghim

    The Lord is good, I pray for my children and their future spouses. That they would be in love with the Lord and that is what would draw them together, not the physical or anything else, just their love for the Lord. I truly believe that a parents prayers for their children plays a huge part in their adult lives! Thank you for stopping by :)

  7. Eileen Leacock Aka. Edwards Granddaughter

    Never heard of this book but I do love the concept. I am raising boys and can only hope they find someone to help them through this life. Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your link. I enjoyed visiting your blog.

  8. Kari@CountHisBlessings

    AMEN and AMEN!! Wow, did I say we were kindred spirits already? I think I did the last time I commented. I LOVE THIS POST and IT’S TRUTH!! Their are not enough women speaking openly and direct as they should be in this crucial aread of life. We were created for our husbands, period. We can’t get around it and why should we. It is a blessing.

    “My calling isn’t to try and change his decision, my calling is to submit. Period. If I don’t agree with the decision, that’s ok. I am not accountable for it, my husband is. This truly makes submitting much easier for me.”

    When I realized that submitting to my husband meant that the pressure is off me, submitting became a blessing to me.

    I love this post and I am so thankful to have met another help meet as passionate as I am. I look forward to getting to know you more.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes :) It seems as though we are kindred spirits :) So very nice to find one in the blogging world :) I am very thankful we found each other too! Having encouragement is wonderful, especially with topics such as these that typically run against the norm these days. It truly is a GREAT blessing to have been created for my husband. I love it! :) Looking forward to future chats ;)

    2. Mary Beth

      May I just “ditto” what she said. I find it freeing to just settle into the role God created for me. Y’all aren’t the only one’s out there! :) Let’s continue to encourage one another to do this differently than the world around us!

      Mary Beth
      newlifesteward.com

      1. simplyhelpinghim

        Amen! We must live differently so those around us can see the difference! That is how we will touch lives and leave indelible fingerprints!

  9. Joan

    Wow, I needed to read this today. I am slowing down on blogging this summer in order to spend more time with my husband. Your post was just what I needed to remind me that before I am a blogger, I am a wife.

    Thanks for visiting Reflections of His Grace.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      It is so easy to get caught up in many things, blogging for me is fun, but I too am having to ensure it does not get the best of me. That is for my Lord, my husband and my children. Thank you for stoppin by :)

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