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Help Meet Practical Game Rule #7 ~ To Be Good - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet



Mar 04

Help Meet Practical Game Rule #7 ~ To Be Good

A good woman is genuine, joyful, virtuous, valuable, competent, ready, kind, benevolent, merciful, hardworking, agreeable, pleasant, congenial, honorable, faithful, gracious, and wise. 

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4

 A good woman is a crown to her husband. She can make a mediocre man be as honored as one wearing a crown.

 ->   A good woman might be married to a man who is lazy or just does not make much money. Yet, because she is a wise shopper and does not waste her time or their money foolishly by eating out or indulging in expensive entertainment, and because she is a keeper at home, she makes his “little money” go a long way. As a result, he appears wiser and wealthier than he really is and is looked upon with honor because of it. 

->   A good woman may be married to a man who is not an attentive father or a patient child trainer. Yet the good wife never shows dishonor to him, and she trains the children to be obedient and resourceful. When people see their children, they assume that the father must be a good man to have such fine children. 

->   A good woman could be married to a man who is a poor example of a father and husband. He may be selfish and self-centered, possibly not even honest, yet because she is submissive and honoring towards him, he treats her with kindness. People look at their relationship and think he must be a good man since he has a good woman and because they see happy together. 

By now you are likely saying, “Why should she carry the load and make a lazy, impatient, selfish man look good?” Why should she not? By being a crown to her husband, she is raising children who will rise up and call her blessed. By the time they are teens, they will know their dad is something much less than he should be, but they will honor him because of the example of their mother. By being a crown to her husband, she is winning his love and appreciation, thus she gets treated much better than if she stood against him. And, by being a prudent woman in how she uses the meager funds given to her, she is gaining a comfortable place to raise her family. In the final analysis, she is doing exactly what God says will cause her husband to come to God. And most of all, she is bringing honor to God by fulfilling her calling as a help meet. In the end, people who know her will know the truth. 

Although a good woman can lift up a poor husband, a good man cannot make up for the deficits of a poor wife and create a family with a good reputation. 

A Good Woman is Crowned with Knowledge


A good woman has a lot to offer the marriage. A man is wiser and more successful in his endeavors because his wife has a great deal of informational resources and a lot of hard work to add to the mix. God tells us that a prudent wife is from Him. 


A Good Woman is a Prudent Woman

(Prudence is growing in knowledge.)

He was not created to be your servant. You were created to be his helper, so get to it. Learn to make yourself useful. I have found that when there is a job too big for me, if I at least start it, my husband will see that I am in over my head and will step in and finish the job. Then I can brag on how smart he is, and he doesn’t even realize that I just inspired him. 


A Good Woman is Virtuous


Proverbs 31 is a record of a king reflecting back on some important things that his mother had taught him. She admonished him, warned him, encouraged him, and expressed her concerns that he find a good woman for a wife. It was as if she were telling her son, who would soon be king, “You will know her, son, by what she DOES.”


A Good Woman is a Doing Woman


All the key words in Proverbs 31 are action words. She is a creative merchant. She is a worker. Almost every verse describes daily chores or a new enterprising task she is involved in. No one, not even her enemy, would call this woman lazy or slothful. She is diligent in her work, both when it is convenient and when she does not feel like working. In the end, it is this woman’s work that speaks of her worth. 










A Good Woman is Not a Fool


Be wise, prudent, and first consider your husband’s desires, your options, and your gifts. Consider cleaning your yard, fixing the screen door, and tightening up your leaking pipes. I suggest we all start “Being good” with things that are less glamorous and more practical. 


*All words in italics are from Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Help Meet

Past Studies through Debi’s book are here

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  1. Becky

    To be good is SO hard sometimes. Why is it so much easier to be bad?? Thank you for this challenge, it is so needed in my life lately!

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Oh yes, being good is VERY hard sometimes…..I’m thankful you stopped by and were encouraged! Blessings!

  2. laura

    I love all these points but this one: A good woman is crowned with knowledge, reminds me of something an older friend told me once. She went to college before it was common for women to do so. She told me her daddy always said, “When you educate a woman, you educate a whole family.” Isn’t that true? And these other points trickle down to the families we tend too.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, the woman sets the attitude for the home. Something I am learning after years of not realizing it :/ I’m thankful for grace! 🙂 Blessings!

  3. Tiffany

    I was SO encouraged by this, thank you!! 🙂 I have been dealing with feeling’s of anger towards my husband all day because of something and I knew it was effecting my attitude towards him. This was a great reminder of WHY I honor and respect him anyway.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      🙂 Isn’t it wonderful how the Lord directs us to that which we need? Even blog posts! 🙂 I love it when I see His hand directing me in ways I’m not expecting it! 🙂 Blessings as you do as God has called you in your role as a help meet! (((hugs)))

  4. Jaimie

    I really, really needed to hear this today. Even if my husband isn’t living up to my expectations, it’s not up to me to criticize or nag him for that. I just do my job, follow my calling, and live obediently to God. Thank you so much for this conviction and encouragement.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, this is was the hardest part for me as a help meet! Not worrying about him, or what he does, but leaving that to God. Ensuring I’m living as I am called is my only responsibility! 🙂 Love how God directs us to words that we need to hear? I love how He works in amazing ways like that! 🙂 Blessings as you love your husband, and obey God! (((hugs)))

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