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Friend Friday with Count His Blessings - Simply Helping Him: Marriage Experience from a Help Meet

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Sep 14

Friend Friday with Count His Blessings

Today I am so excited to have Kari from Count His Blessings here to share! She is one of my favorite bloggers! She is ALWAYS counting! I am so inspired by her counting, as well as her AWESOME ideas for homeschooling! Be sure to stop by her corner and share some love!

 

 

We were all sitting together in our living room. The kids had been wrestling with Brent, Isaiah was crawling everywhere, and I was relaxing after a long day of swimming with the kiddos. Abigail crawls up next to her Daddy and says, “Daddy, you’re the boss of this house.” He smiles (what Daddy wouldn’t be happy about that remark) and says back to her, “You’re right, I am.” She then says, “Yeah, but God is the boss of all the houses.” He laughs and says back, “Yes, that is right.” Joshua chimes in from the other side of the room, “Daddy’s the boss over our house, but God is the boss over Daddy.”

For a lot of women, the thought of submission is not even a thought. And, if they do think of that dreadful word “SUBMISSION”, it is negative. They want what they want and how they want it. Sounds harsh, I know. But, it is truth. We live in a society that says, “Me, me, me.” The reality of the lack of submission in our homes toward our homes is there is a cost.

Who pays the cost?

Our families do!

It is sad. So many women think to submit to their husband is losing apart of who they are as an individual. This is SO not true, ladies. This is a lie straight from Satan. I am here to give you a different thought. One that I pray the Spirit will speak to directly to your hearts as His truth.

What if submission isn’t negative?

What if the world has it wrong?

What if we stopped listening to the world and instead, we walked in the counsel of His word?

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

(Ephesians 5:22)

Women, hear me, submission isn’t easy. It is the denial of our flesh. And, it a denial that is repeated over and over. But, from the experience of a woman who was raised to be very independent and the very thought of relying on anyone to do anything for me was not something I was EVER about to do, the Lord changing that mindset has been the most amazing blessing I have ever experienced.

Is it always easy? No, it isn’t.

Do they always lead the way you want them to? No, they don’t.

There are times when my flesh gets in there and wants to “prove” my point to my husband, but I have learned (after repeated mistakes!) that I only feel worse after. I suffer, my marriage suffers, and my family suffers. It isn’t worth it!! I am not walking in God’s design for me as a help meet (Genesis 2:18) when I don’t submit. We were created to be covered by our husbands, we were created to help them, not lead them.

“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man
is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

(1 Cor 11:3)

 

I don’t exactly understand it all, I am not supposed to. God asks us to be obedient and when we do, His abundant blessings pour out. Life is more manageable when I am doing the job I was created for and letting someone else do the job, they were created for.

 

This is God’s design for marriage and it a beautiful thing. God isn’t there to make you miserable; He is there to help you.

 

“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

(Matthew 11:30)

 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have
life and have it abundantly.”

(John 10:10)

I use to carry so much on my shoulders, so much that I wasn’t supposed to. And, through the amazing blessing of submission, I don’t carry those burdens anymore. My husband leads us as His heavenly Father leads him. Through our example of submission in our marriage, my children are already learning how beautiful submission is. And for them, I pray, submitting to their heavenly Father will be just a little easier.

 

I encourage you ladies, try it, and see if it works. And please, don’t expect perfection. That will NEVER happen.

 

I know a lot of women are thinking, “You don’t know my husband, he doesn’t lead, so therefore I have to or things don’t get done and decisions go unmade.” Pray for your husband, my sisters in Christ (The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian is an excellent book, I go there often). Encourage your husband whenever he does lead, no matter how big or small the situation is. Men crave this and the more you do it, the more he will step up and take on his role as the head of your home. Remember, your husband was created to lead, it is in him. He has to learn to lead, just like we have to learn to submit.

 

And my friends, I know there are also many of you who have husbands who aren’t following the Lord, first pray. Pray for his salvation. This is the most important thing (the book I mentioned above is a great one for you too, I promise), and seek Godly counsel. And never, never give up. I have seen God do powerful soul transformations (I am a walking testimony to that!) and our God, He is no respecter of persons.

 

Blessings!!

 

Kari is the blessed wife to Brent and Mommy to five beautiful children, three of whom are with her and she gets to homeschool and two whom are in the arms of Jesus. You can find her at Count His Blessings where she blogs about her journey to see Christ in all things.

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12 comments

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  1. Mary Beth

    I really appreciate how you said you don’t have to understand it all, you just trust in the Lord and how he designed marriage to work. That’s so true. Thanks for sharing here!

    1. Kari

      Yes, Mary Beth, although it can be so hard at times, we can trust that His ways are so much better then our own! So glad to hear from you, I have missed blogging so much lately. Blessings!

    2. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, trusting in Him! So important to remember that He designed what we live out! 🙂 His way is the best!

  2. nicholl

    what a great post. Thanks for sharing!

    Following you now! Happy Friday!! Stop by nichollvincent.blogspot.com and say hello! 🙂

    1. Kari

      Thank you Nicholl!

    2. simplyhelpinghim

      Thanks for stoppin by 😉

  3. Mindy @ New Equus - A New Creation

    Kari…wonderful words of wisdom! Especially when you talk about wives not losing a part of themselves! With our husbands we become more of what we were created to be…not less. 🙂

    1. Kari

      Yes, Mindy, we do become so much more of what God intended and created for us to be. There is so much freedom in His wisdom! Thank you for reading. Blessings!

    2. simplyhelpinghim

      So true! 🙂

  4. lorneth

    Thanks for such a great reminder. I sometimes feel like my husband does not lead but I need to keep praying for him.

    1. simplyhelpinghim

      Yes, praying for our husbands is not dependent on their actions. Blessings!

    2. Kari

      Lorneth, my husband and I went to counseling our second yr of marriage. During one of the times we went, the counselor said something to me that has stuck with me daily when i saidmthe same think he was leading. He said, “Kari, what does he do? For you and for your family.” I started naming some stuff and he just listened. When I was done, he said to me again, “kari, that IS leading! ” He then went on with words of wisdom that has helped this very independent woman step back and let my husband lead. He said that the way he was leading was different then the way I would lead, but that is no way less leading or not leading. He said that if God had intended for our marriage and family to be lead the way I lead, then He would have had me marry me. He said, but no, God had you marry Brent and He put you under his authority for a reason. He told me to stop looking for Brent to lead the way I would lead and start looking for the ways Brent leads. Whenever I saw something, I was encouraged to encourage my husband, no matter how big or small. I am hear to say, those words of wisdom over six years ago have changed our marriage. I took his advice and I opened my heart and my eyes to Brent’s leading and stopped looking for ways I would. It worked then and is continuing to work now. The more I see him leading, the more I encourage, and the more he steps it up. It is a beautiful cycle that I am so blessed I got on. My friend, I hope that helps and I will be praying for you. Visit me anytime at http://www.counthisblessings.com or email me at counthisblessings@yahoo.com.

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