Throughout my life I have greatly struggled having friends. There have been a few that I thought would be lifelong, and I found I was sadly mistaken. I have a couple friends that I am blessed to be able to pick up the phone, no matter how long it’s been and it’s like time has been standing still. I am so grateful for these friends. These days I am also thankful for social media and the fellow bloggers that I’ve been blessed to meet that have become true friends, like sisters even.
So lately I’ve been wondering about this relationship. I know I’m not alone in wondering why we as women struggle with this. Two particular questions have me pondering this relationship.
What is it about friendship that makes it difficult?
Why are there so many women struggling through life’s difficulties with no godly women to walk beside them?
Women which are so very relational (typically, though not always) tend to pull back and walk through life alone. For many different reasons…..fear of being hurt, imperfection, no time, etc. Yet there is fun, freedom and strength found in this relationship if women would just remember a few things when building a friendship.
5 Things to Remember in Friendship
1. Friendship requires selflessness.
~ It can’t be all about you, your struggles, joys, etc.
~ You have to be willing to put your friend before yourself at times.
2. Friendship requires being real.
~ You can’t build a relationship being fake.
~ You must be willing to open up and reveal your imperfections.
3. Friendship requires grace.
~ Each of us struggle in different areas and in unique ways, we must be willing to accept each other just as God created us.
~ We all have diverse pasts, and we don’t know how we would handle the circumstances our friends faced.
4. Friendship requires forgiveness.
~ We’re all human and make mistakes.
~ As women we tend to be emotional and our feelings get hurt easily. We must not allow our feelings to get in the way. As friends we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt.
5. Friendship requires commitment.
~ Just like in marriage, in friendship you’re needed to be there through the good times and the bad.
~ Sometimes a friend’s listening ear is all we need.
True friends are rare, so be sure that when you’re blessed with one that you remember “Stay Real Girl Friend Constantly”.
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momstheword
September 20, 2013 at 4:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Awesome tips and love the acronym.
I’ve had two female friendships that I have “given up” on in my life. One was a gal who was in an unhealthy place physically, emotionally and spiritually in her life, and who verbally abused me by always yelling at me and getting mad at me. She said and did things to force people to show they cared, but then when they DID show the cared she got angry with them for caring. I visited her in the hospital and she yelled at me the whole time, saying that I had better things to do than visit her in the hospital.
I know she was going through a rough time in her life but this went on for over a year, and I finally came to the point where I felt it was an unhealthy relationship. I took her phone calls but the minute she started yelling and getting mad I would tell her that I wasn’t going to allow her to talk to me like that and I would hang up. Eventually she stopped calling.
The other friendship was a one way friendship. She would never call me. She’d always say to me “Call me” or she’d tell my husband “tell her to call me.” She only wanted to hang out if her husband wasn’t available. I was not a priority with her, and while I understand her desire to be with her husband all the time, I did not understand her insisting that I drop my plans with MY husband or family when SHE suddenly became available (due to her husband being out of town or busy). (This was the only time she’d call me, lol!)
This is why we need to give grace (as you said) and forgiveness and understanding to the dear friends that we DO have. Because good friends are hard to find! Thanks for hosting today, my friend.
simplyhelpinghim
September 23, 2013 at 2:42 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, I too have had to “let go” of some friendships in my life; ones that were unhealthy, mentally strenuous, and one way friendships too. It is very hard to find real good friends, and I honestly don’t think I have any that I would place in that category. I have a few good friends that live far away, but none that I could count on in a moment’s notice. I’m learning that Christ is the best friend I could ever have, and maybe I’m away from everyone just to learn that lesson. I’m hopeful that someday I will have a friend that lives close and that I could count on constantly. (((hugs))) sis!
Beth
September 20, 2013 at 11:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Such a wonderful message and I love the five things you outlined to remember about friendship. Visiting from Essential Fridays. Nice to “meet” you.
simplyhelpinghim
September 23, 2013 at 2:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks so much for stoppin by! Blessings!
April @ 100lbCountdown.com
September 20, 2013 at 9:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I completely agree. I know I struggle with being open, not because I feel that I’ll be judged, but because I’ve had people in my past who basically would not respond to any of my struggles or triumphs. It’s not just friends, but family too. I just learned that no one really cared what I was going through and stopped sharing. Blogging has really changed that, but I’m still searching for real friends.
Thanks for hosting.
simplyhelpinghim
September 23, 2013 at 2:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh yes, the pain of being hurt from being open in the past is very hard to get over. Blogging has greatly helped me in that regard, and I’ve been blessed with a few great friends in the blogging world. I am very thankful for all of them. We are currently between churches, and I don’t live near any of my family, so I still don’t have real friends here. Praying for you sis! (((hugs))) and blessings!
Debbie @ http://kidsbibledebjackson.blogspot.com/
September 20, 2013 at 7:47 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks so much for hosting!
simplyhelpinghim
September 20, 2013 at 8:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You’re welcome! Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!
I will NOT Make Decisions Based on Fear | Counter Culture Living
September 20, 2013 at 7:47 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
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