My testimony speaks of God’s grace, mercy, strength and forgiveness.
It is only by these attributes of God, that I am sharing this today.
I was born an MK, daughter of an MK, to a country that will always hold a special place in my heart. Mexico.
At the age of 5, my dad joined the Navy and I became a Navy Brat, which I am proud to be!
Raised in a Christian home, by a wonderful set of Godly parents, I was very blessed.
At the age of 12, while doing my “mandatory” devotions, I was reading Revelation. (This book intrigued me then and still does to this day.) I came across Revelation 20:15, “And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.” All of the sudden it was clear to me ~ my name was not written in God’s book. That meant I was headed for the lake of fire. My mom and I knelt by the couch and that night Jesus became the greatest decision of my life.
Sadly, hard times and lots of bad decisions followed….
As a preteen and teen I pushed limits ~ lying, smoking, flirting, and eventually losing my virginity before my 16th birthday.
The summer of 2000, I had the wonderful opportunity to “get away”, to my first home. Mexico. I spent the summer on the mission field with my grandparents and four different youth groups. It was the best summer of my life. I had never been closer to God and was “determined” to live from Him 100% when I went home.
Yet again, hard times and bad decisions followed…
I got married straight out of high school. Drinking, smoking, trying to be what I thought my husband wanted and trying to be what I knew I needed to be. Abuse became a part of my life. Physical, verbal, mental…..when my son became victim to the verbal abuse @ 3 months old, I knew it was time to move on.
I was divorced by 20, single mom to a 7 month old boy. Back at home with mom, dad and my lil brothers.
I met my hubby at 19, before my divorce went final. We were both “determined” to do it right.
I was pregnant again at 20…..had a baby girl at 21….Last minute wedding one week prior to moving 800+ miles away.
After getting married, one week later my parents and lil brothers moved. I was in Maine with only my kiddos and hubby. I had been raised in a close knit family, and he grew up in a split family. I was 21…..he is 17 years my senior and the ultimate bachelor.
After many nights throughout the first year spent in hotels with the kiddos, losing 20+ lbs., blacking out from lack of sleep and food; I left after a big fight.
The year had been difficult beyond words; living life as a single mom, yet living together without a marriage relationship, nor any father-child relationships.
I spent one year away. Divorce papers were filed. Hubby pushed to work things out. I moved on.
By God’s grace my heart began to melt during that year away. Listening to my hubby talk to our daughter, melting happened.
We began counseling separately and together when we were visiting each other.
I had moved on and caused lots of pain during our separation. My husband gave me the greatest gift I could have received…forgiveness.
One week prior to our divorce being final, the kids and I moved home.
Though the next three years weren’t wonderful, we survived. We even enjoyed some of our time together as a couple, as a family.
Yet, more hard times lie ahead.
In 2009, I was the one dealt the pain in our marriage. I sent my kiddos to stay with my mom for three weeks. I had to work, so I moved out, worked, went through counseling, prayed and sought God….as I never had before. I knew my kids couldn’t keep doing the up and down rollercoaster. It had to stop. For good.
Through the pain God reminded me that hubby had shown me exactly what he was in need of, forgiveness. How could I not give what he had shown me? What he needed?
The greatest help for our marriage came in the form of a gift. Debi Pearl’s book “Created to be His Help Meet”. Without this book, I don’t know where I would be. God used her words to touch me, change me, and continually encourage me.
My life has not been a cup of tea since God helped me show forgiveness, in a dark part of my life. I struggle daily with loneliness and regret. Depression is never far behind.
Throughout my life, through the valleys, and on top of the mountains; I find God…who is full of mercy, grace and forgiveness!
Salvation is His greatest gift, yet He has so many more! No matter where you are or where you’ve been, He knows your future and wants to walk it with you!
Mercy…..Grace……Forgiveness….
For each and every day…..Always new every morning….
Every step along the way……He will walk with you
6 comments
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Tina Miller
October 2, 2012 at 10:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wrapping love around you… You are never alone, your peace in the midst of trials speak volumes.. Even when know voice is heard! Beautiful story.. In someways it sounds like mine… It was nice to meet you through Felecia’s page! Hope to get to know you better!
simplyhelpinghim
October 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, it is amazing to know we are NEVER alone! Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings! (I’ll swing by your corner too!) 🙂
Kendra @ A Proverbs 31 Wife
October 2, 2012 at 9:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I know I have read part of your story at Warrior Wives, but it still touches me.
Gods grace is amazing and reaches to us all!
Love you sister!
simplyhelpinghim
October 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes it is! So true! Thanks girly 😉 Love ya too!
Felecia
October 2, 2012 at 9:02 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh Misty … Salvation is His greatest gift! isn’t it wonderful how He works in our lives? And I was just thinking that we (Christians) always joke about how we don’t surrender to Christ and then everything is perfect. It’s a constant test, isn’t it? Will we cleave onto God or will we turn away. It’s all about making choices day after day to follow Christ.
Thanks for linking up today on the Testimony Page!
Many hugs to you, your husband and your kids!
Felecia
simplyhelpinghim
October 2, 2012 at 9:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Amen! It is so very wonderful! 🙂 Thanks for swinging by! 🙂 Blessings dear friend!