As Christians when we think of grace, we think of God’s amazing grace. As parents, we strive to utilize God’s grace when our kiddos have disobeyed or been difficult again.
In marriage, it is hard to think about grace sometimes. Both the husband and wife are adults and should be able to conduct themselves as such. Yet, when feelings get hurt, ugly words are spoken or birthdays are forgotten, the adult conduct can sometimes go out the window.
What do we do in these difficult times? How do we swallow our hurt and move past the pain?
The answer is grace. We must extend grace to our husbands.
What exactly is grace?
Grace is getting that which we do not deserve.
Grace vs. Mercy
These are often difficult to distinguish. To help differentiate them, I love to look at Max Lucado’s “picture“….
“Grace goes beyond mercy. Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance. Grace threw him a party. Mercy prompted the Samaritan to bandage the wounds of the victim. Grace prompted him to leave his credit card as payment for the victim’s care….”
Learning of Grace
As humans we are not typically gracious. It is not a virtue that comes naturally, it must be learned and practiced daily. In order to learn how to extend it we must look to the Author and Perfecter.
Grace is an essential part of who God is. His grace is always waiting for us after we make mistakes, even though it is undeserved. We know that these mistakes will not change His love for us.
Responding Graciously to Your Husband
Our husbands will make mistakes. They will forget date nights. We won’t always be the person they want to spend time with. Our needs will not always be thought of.
How we respond to these truths in our daily lives is our choice. We can choose to fume, become cold as ice, or we can choose to extend that which he doesn’t necessarily deserve. Grace. Remembering that he is human, and allowing him to come home without “fearing” what he will come home to after making a mistake or forgetting an important date.
Results of Graciousness in Your Marriage
The results of being gracious toward your husband include, but are not limited to; building up your marriage and diminishing your stress level. Your husband will see the difference in how you treat him, which will strengthen your bond. Focusing on responding graciously as the Lord does will alleviate the frustration and anger you used to feel.
On a Personal Note
My husband and I have one night a week during the school year where we get approx. an hour together while our kiddos are at Awana.
Last week he was hard at work on his boat and lost track of time. I ended up at the restaurant waiting for about 20 minutes. My mind started to run with thoughts like, “Why is one night a week so hard to remember”, “I can’t believe I’m having to wait again”, etc.
Then God begin speaking to my heart…..
“Misty, he’s hard at work so he doesn’t have to pay someone else to do it.”, “He cares about you enough to go get showered before meeting up with you”, etc.
Thankfully I listened to what God spoke to my heart and I was able to respond graciously when he arrived. We had a pleasant time and we were able to have adult conversation without interruption. What a blessing that kind of time together truly is to parents!