Anytime two people come together there will be differences, which will as some point cause friction, maybe even fighting.
Each person is unique, there are no two alike. Some of us may fit together better than others, but somewhere along the way there will be conflict.
How we cope as a couple and handle our disagreements is what matters.
How Do You Handle Conflict in Your Marriage?
Consider these questions to which only you and God know the honest answer.
1. Do I desire to win all arguments no matter the cost?
2. Do I consider my husband’s point of view or feelings?
3. Do I tend to, or have a made a habit of going to bed angry?
4. Do I pray for wisdom for our struggles, or do I rely on myself?
5. Am I striving to build my marriage up, or am I tearing it down?
No matter where your answers fall, you can always improve your marriage.
Cultivating a peaceful marriage is not a cake walk, especially if yours has been rocky previously. Just like a garden requires care, pruning, and water to grow; a marriage requires the same treatment. Left to themselves both a garden and a marriage will become unruly, ugly and eventually destroyed.
Cultivating Peace in Your Marriage
I encourage you to take into consideration these ideas for creating peace within your marriage.
1. Lay aside your pride.
Most of the time our pride is what pushes us to fight. We don’t like to be wrong and backing down resembles it.
By choosing to submit this does not mean you’re allowing your husband to “win”, or walk all over you. You’re choosing to say, “Ok Lord, I want to obey You, so I’m letting it go.”
Remember if the decision affects the family, your husband will answer to the Lord, not you. You’re responsible only for your action of submitting to the authority of God and your husband over you. **
3. Pray together (or alone if your husband is unwilling) prior to any conversation that could cause division.
Ask the Lord if now is the right time to discuss this topic, or even if you’re the one that needs to talk to him about it. God may speak to your heart that He is already working on your husband, and a conversation now would hinder progress.
4. Examine all sides of the topic.
Don’t have tunnel vision.
Ensure that you don’t have the “it’s my way or the highway attitude.”
Don’t forget your husband has feelings and is part of the relationship. Work together to build your marriage up.
5. Let it go.
Sometimes it won’t be fixed tonight. Agree to disagree for now, and spend time in prayer (together and separately) seeking God’s guidance.
What you must remember about peace is this….
Peace is not always easily achieved. It can take time, which requires patience.
Sometimes surrender is required knowing that God is in control.
Having faith that God knows the beginning from the end, and that His ways aren’t ours is key to filling your life and marriage with peace.
Always remember “the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
**Please note, as I’ve said before if you, or your children are in harm’s way physically get out immediately. If you fear emotional or mental abuse, seek out a Christian counselor to determine the appropriate steps to take for you and your children.**