Last week my hubby took a trip with some friends to the US Open in New York. He is an avid tennis player, and has made this trip a yearly ritual. Our oldest left for college last week as well, so we weren’t sure he’d be able to make it. I was very happy that he was able to make the trip this year.
I have to be honest though….I have not always been happy with my husband having “hubby time”.
There were several years that I was angry he needed or even wanted time away from me…..from our family. Him having alone time said things to me like, “He can’t handle a family”, “He doesn’t want to spend time with you”, “He doesn’t love you”, and on and on these depressing thoughts would go.
These years were some of the hardest years in my life, and in our marriage.
I was so focused on what I wanted and how our family should work, I never bothered to think about what my husband might need.
After a long days physical fisherman’s labor, what could he use most?
An understanding wife or an angry, selfish one?
What right do I have to be selfish when he works hard to provide for our family’s needs?
I have come to understand and encourage him to enjoying things like; an hour or two hitting a few tennis balls with friends, an evening motorcycle ride through town, and zoning out watching the latest match on the tennis channel.
I will say, and my husband would agree that there were years that the amount of time he spent playing tennis was excessive.
I can also say that there are times that I spend too many hours on the computer.
We must come to the place where we put our spouse’s needs above our own. (Romans 12:10 & Philippians 2:3) As wives, we must do this even if our husbands don’t reciprocate this action. We are only responsible for that which we do.
So the next time you notice your husband heading out to have some “hubby time”, put on a pretty smile, give him a hugs, a kiss and send him off with wishes for a good time.
The alternative is sending him off leaving an angry, selfish wife behind. Which do you think he’ll be more likely to return to quickest?
Unfortunately I already know because I have been both…..
I encourage you to be the loving, encouraging wife to your husband that he longs for. He will in turn come to love you beyond your wildest imaginations.