One of the hardest things for me to learn and begin to balance this year, is the fact that first I am a help meet THEN I am a mother.
It is so easy for me to leave hubby to do his thing, and go be mom. While there are times this is necessary, I truly feel God’s calling is for me to be a help meet first.
Looking back to the very beginning, we find that is exactly how God designed it to be. Eve was created to be Adam’s help meet, THEN she became a mother.
Hubby’s and my marriage is the #1 example to our children. If I fail to show them that he is my priority then they in turn will show the same negligence to their spouses. That is not something I want to know I am responsible for.
This is something God laid on my heart this year. I’ve been making (trying to) a conscious effort to choose time with hubby when he’s home. This has allowed quite a few great conversations, quiet nights watching TV, meals catered to his liking (thanks Kristin), and a sense of accomplishment that I’m working to put my family in line as God designed.
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Tara
March 7, 2013 at 9:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hi Misty, thank you for such a great post, I really need to apply this to our family dynamic, I think it would help in many areas. Have a blessed weekend. Tara (The Proverbs 31 Sanctuary) Stopping by from Wise Woman Link Up.
simplyhelpinghim
March 8, 2013 at 8:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m always so amazed at whom God directs to the correct lil corners to be blessed and encouraged with what they need. Thank you for stoppin by! Blessings!
Shell
March 6, 2013 at 10:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s so hard to remember this- especially in the early days of parenting.
simplyhelpinghim
March 8, 2013 at 8:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, it is hard to remember when the children are young. Yet, it is so very important. Our children will be the next set of marriages, what do we want them to look like? Thanks for stoppin by! Blessings!
Kathleen
March 6, 2013 at 12:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I married my hubby over 28 years ago I was a single divorced Mom so we never had that time alone. We were also basically strangers. When our daughter (he eventually adopted her) visited her grandma and blood father ever other weekend (even after the adoption she visited her family at her grandma request) we dated. We continued this dating every other weekend throughout our marriage. So many neglect their marriage when kids come along (we had four in all) and then when the kids are gone they realize how they’ve grown apart. Hubby and I have been enjoying our empty nest – but we love it when the kids and grandkids visit. We feel like this “starting over” is pretty romantic at times 🙂 Oh, we also had a rule. Since we were ONE if a child ask to do something for example and one said no the other backed him up. That way we didn’t have the problem of Dad said yes and Mom said no. Sometimes Mom and Dad agreed to discuss it first but the outcome stuck. Hubby was the Chairman of the Board in our house – I was his Number One 🙂
simplyhelpinghim
March 8, 2013 at 8:40 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is such a wonderful idea and story to pass on! I’m thankful for the times we do get alone together, though often it is not as much as I would like. My love language is definitely time together, while hubby’s is “show me you love me with your actions”. 🙂 Thanks for stoppin by and sharing! Blessings sis!
Lori @ Encourage Your Spouse
March 6, 2013 at 10:14 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Rob and I celebrated our first anniversary in the hospital when we had our daughter. It feels like we’ve had children all our married life! But I remember being that young mom in the hospital deciding that we wouldn’t let this new baby take over our lives… we would still be “Rob and Lori”.
That decision has colored our lives over the last 28 years, and now that the kids are grown and gone, that decision so many years ago has become a blessing. You’ve heard it – it’s not a new saying – kids grow up – and it’s true! Soon enough the kids are leading their own lives and you’re either left with your best friend, or a stranger.
I applaud your decision to give time and attention to your husband. It’s going to work out as a blessing for the two of you AND a wonderful legacy for your kids in their relationships. Really.
simplyhelpinghim
March 8, 2013 at 8:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, in the long run Lord willing we will truly come to enjoy and want time together, right now it is something I have to plan and push for. Someday I hope it will be different…..for now I am working to do that which I know I am called to do. Blessings!
Mrs. Sarah Coller
March 6, 2013 at 2:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hi Misty! I have the opposite problem! I favor my husband over my kids to the point that it might be a little extreme. We really enjoy spending time together but I think we do need to focus on letting the kids stay up later sometimes and do family stuff.
Hope you’re having a nice week!
Sarah
simplyhelpinghim
March 6, 2013 at 8:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
🙂 LOL! Isn’t that funny how we’re all different, with our own struggles? Thanks for stoppin by hun! Blessings!
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